Sunday, January 21, 2007
wHu cAn i trUSt?!
yEstErDae got work at sArimbun as belAyer at cRc...but yestErDae was quiTe alrite the kids for the 1st grp not bad...duNno y mAyb i jUx dun like boys la...cAnt stAnd thEm...i love the galz...esp those frOm the 1st sLot...
we didnt do alot of work...cuZ after the 1st 2 slOts...it stArTed to rain and every thing was changed to wet weather...so we slack at the tentage there...pArtly oso cuz after the 1st slot its lunch le...(but we jux had breakfast at 8+ and lunCh was at 11+?!)
when we can contiNue oUr activity, during the briefing the sudden rain cAme again so it was cancelled again so we continUe to slAck...until the last slot which started onli at 4:40pm...which was suppoSed to end at 5:15pm...and i did the transverse ladder...due to the short time i didnt clear all n i tried cuz i didnt let them finish the thing...and asked them to fall on so that we can save some time...cuz lowerin is faster than climbing down...cuz its realli high...(im so nice...cuz we wan the trainers to do the higher ones...while hab n i do the lower on...clear fast n not so tired cuz we hav to do whole dae of belaying but they sent an attachie who nv did cRc belAy suMmore so i took the hiGh oNe)
one thing freakin pissed...i dun mind trainers slackin...but noe when is the time to do so...iSnt it like a normal thing that u check to kid's harness before sending them to mi...already request them to do it le...but still not done...instead of standing there to tell them how to wear cant u jux hlp if u see that they got difficulty?! check their harness tight enuff not...helmet n stuffs. end up i still hav to hlp them do it...izit they dunno how to wear oso? the monkey tails hanging...wait loop n leg loop not tight enuff...helmet in funky style...u think v funnie...if anythinG happen whu's responsible?! iSnt it better that u check the kids den send betta den i dunid waste time to adjust for them when they are there so that the time wasted to adjust can be used to clear more kids?! wads w pple these daes? onli noe tok big n dun do work...wads more already asked that they check for them before sendin le! onli noe how to stand at one corner tok...nv do crowd ctrl summore...i noe ur new...but wres the attempt to even do ur job properly?!
after that majority of us showered and we left...woA 1st time shower open at the sarimbun toilet...cuz all the cubicles stink like hell...so i locked the door n occupy the whole toilet...cuz the kids were having their dinner aniwae...damn nice...drove the guys home...den hAnchoNg kip tokin to mum lol...hiS chiNese...lolz...and hes frm Chinese high suMMore lol...tokin abt his scouting experience n outdoor cookin...until mum sae he realli noe how to cooK...
BUT
he's cookin is dig hole, bbQ, bAke the chiCken in mud one! lolz...den mum n i had dinner at beach road...yuMMy tom yAm soUp, mAngo sAlad n piNeapple rice...i v bad...got 2 women as mi whether i wan drink i sae dun wan den i end up drinkin fr the other stall...but i dun think im at fault cuz i alwaes drink frm that stall...so im not to be blamed...n we onli order one glass...so whu shud i order frm?! dun pester mi...i get irritated i both oso dun buy...lol
i drove home...lol damn cooL...
finalli got home...msg dear...he still playing mj but sae will go home after dat so okie lor i wait...damn tired damn slpy...but toked to mum n watch tv as i wait...asked mi whether i was slpin...already said "damn tired...u sae lehz" isnt it obvious that i wanna slP?! but after dat he sae gg to tak's hse...kenna faked lor...so not happi...iM like here waiting for u to go home so that we can chat on the pHone...n there u go tak's hse...informing mi onli last min after i wait so long...
called him...den he sae "i tell honest u dun wan believe...u like training mi to tell white lies to u lehz"
> its not i dun believe but the point is u wan go dun wait until ur on ur wae le den sae...tell mi earlier den i can go rest!i didnt slp well at campsite...gta wake up earli gta work...belay the kids...i oso wanna rest n slp de lor...den wad i got in return? the person i trust the most...the person i love the most saying to mi..."ur like train mi to tell white LIES to u to CHEAT u" if ur mi u can tke it? asking...can i even trust u le? how i noe whether u lying or not? liddat i oso cant angry? u might tke it as a joke...but to mi it isnt anything funny abt it...or to joke abt!!! i said before...if the guy cheat on mi...theres no 2nd chance...no matter how much i love him cuz if he can do it once...he will do it again! wres the trust now? loSt!
still msg mi if i not seeing him todae let him noe so that he can plan his activity...wad else can u do other than mj? u noe i dun like u to playin so muCh...u sae i dun let u spend time w ur frenz...make it like dun play will die...its not like u dunno ur playing so much more than last time...when i kip stoppin u frm playing...but wad can i sae now?! no choice right when u sae u dun wanna waste ur wkend when u not with mi...whu is the one whu sae wanna rest properly this wkend?!
its realli not i dun let u play lor...ut mj kakis oso my frens lor...if i dun let u go it makes mi look bad...n i've not been stoppin u if u realize...n its not that i dun wanna let u go tak house...but lettin mi noe in advance canot? u think i wanna make a big hoohaa abt u gg there? NO! iS wad u've said...realli sae till i dunno wad to sae le lor...
i said" i care u! u wanna lie to me go ahead jux dun let mi find out or i wuN wan u animore!"
clear enuff?! u think i kup for fun?! realli dunno how to tok to u le lor...
sae i angry till morning...think of wad u sent mi! i didnt open till mornin! u think i can jux see n still lol?! sae i can dun wan u! fine! if this is wad u wan...aniwae the periods between disputes are gettin shorter...y can lidat...cuz some guys sae dat i wan him to cheat on mi...n HE WILL DO IT!
reflect! when u sae this kind of things to mi...u tink i can jux let u go off liddat?! mum sae i love him more than he love mi when she sees it liddat...but i told her i think u love mi more...but i think after this incident i can sae that my love for U is no less than u...its measurable...cuz u dunno how i jux hurt mi liddat...and i noe that im realli sad and if one dae i have no choice...i nid to let go i will! even if its gonna affect mi so much~ cuz i hav to do to wad i said when there isnt a crisis base on how i see the circumstances...cuz i noe when it realli comes...i wun wanna let go...but i jux hav to...cuz i dun wanna be the kind of gal whom u jux hoax a little n i get back to u...cuz sooner or later...i wun even be hoaxed animore...and be left at one corner...crying my heart out when MAN think its li(2) suo(3) dang(1) ran(2) for guys to be liddat...by them i'll be a pitiful soul whu asked for it...
i dunno when we are gonna speak to each other again...but i noe i wun initiate...cuz u realli broke my heart n i wun giv in...askin myself if i can still trust u...i dunno...
i blogged @
1/21/2007 05:33:00 PM
