Monday, October 16, 2006
its been a thousand yrs since i've blogged lolz...and i jux realised it lolz...many things happened in my life happy n sad, angry and pissed or crazy and fun =) most imptly i learnt abt pple in this holiday...or shud i sae HUMAN BEINGS...
basically whu can we trust in this world?
the one whu seems to be the best among the bestfriends might jux be "bestfriend" and hlping u make all the wrong decisions, influencing u to look at pple in the wrong angle...turn ur life upside down n u still trust her like dunno wad...mayb she is jux there to ruin ur life? mayb she is jux jealous that u've found a sth so precious n wonderful...
n we call these "bestfriends" the super backstabber!
another species of human live in this world to tke advantage of ppl...
after working...we can confirm that ppl are in some sense attracted to FREE gifts lolz...they wun wanna tke ur flyers on the ususal daez...but u show the FREE GIFT *ting* their eyes brighten up n tkes the flyers frm u! AmAzinG!!! den they will open their mouth " can gimme one more?" no some even power...they tap u on the shoulder n stretch out their hand, when u look at them they point at the FREE GIFT!and its lagi more amazing to see them walking round n round taking the GIFT frm u again n again...not twice, not THRICE but i've met one uncle whu took like 8-1o from mi!! until i had to tell him off! den there are oso aunties coming to u n sae "can i hav another one (so u jux giv), 1 more i wanna give my daughter (okie so u give 1 more), 1 more lah i wanna give my son (so u give one more), jux 1 more...i wanna give my husband..."
wahKao! and as andy sae " auntie u wan tke the whole stack?" or " why not u count the no. of ppl in ur family tree den come n tell mi u wan how many" now u see the sides of these grp of pple i call the YEOW GUIz lolz
the next grp of contenders happened to be my buddies...
they love their gal too much...dat no matter how she hurts him...he still love her...i realli admire the courage and the power of love...cuz if it was mi...mayb i've died like until dunno wre...or sad till i die of crying...and suffer frm dehydration...n hide myself frm everyone....and this grp of pple need the support of frens esp the gal whu he loves...so i will support them...him/her...and be their v gud fren whu listens n be their...i call this grp...the LOVELY BUT NOT LOVED (wadever cant think of a nice name lolx...)
izit human nature to hurt the pple ard us?
even the person we love the most in our life...even thou u dun mean it most of the time...and u sae the most stupid thing in ur life noeing that u didnt meAN IT at all...that its jux an excuse to run awae frm the situation? and saying wad u realli meant seems to be as difficult as touching the moon? is letting go a gud solution to prevent ourselves frm hurting them again?
laST nite was one of the worse nite i ever had in my entire life...i hurt my dear badly n so did he...but i guess it was entirely my fault for being too sensitive...i threatened to commit suicide if he dun let mi go home...i said too much hurtful words that i dun even rmb wad i said...i knew very well i love him alot...i knew very well that i wanna spend the rest of my life with dear...n i definitely kNow that he is one guy that i cant giv up for other gals to grab him awae...he sae i took him for granted...mayb i realli did...he said...
"when was the last time u cared for the pple whu love u?
when was the last time u did sth for someone?
ur parents spoilt u...so much so that wad they do nv please u...( i guess so...but do they realli know whu am i? do they realli understand mi? i guess not...they think thay understand mi n know mi inside out onli lor)
i love u alot...and i spoilt u too...dats why im in this state now...u tke mi for granted...
the number of times he got angry in this 2 yrs was even more than his entire life before i came into the picture...mayb 2x or even 3x more...(am i dat bad?)
MAYB WE SHOULD RECONSIDER OUR RELATIONSHIP...ARE WE REALLI SUITABLE FOR EACH OTHER...(the statement that im most fearful of)"
when he asked mi if i will cherish him...my heart saes YES but my actions said i dunno
"do u still wan this relationship to carry on?" i shrugged my shoulders again but i realli wanna sae YES! but on the other hand i was thinkin mayb dear dear might be better off without mi...cuZ im alwaes making him upset...im alwaes making him angry...i noe i cant be so noble to let him off so i jux continue crying...he said he might not treat mi as well as he used to be cuz he is afraid of gettin himself hurt again...his heart had died half le...i knew very well that i cant let him go...he wanted to leave...but i didnt wan him to go...cuz if he did he means that he wanna leave me behind n walk through his life without mi n leave mi for good...thank God he didnt...
i guess i realli dunno how to express myself...to tell him my feelings...cuz i alwaez hide my actual tots...and often i get upset abt little things n awhile ltr i forgot wad actualli made mi pissed...most of the time jux leave mi alone n i'll be fine le...haiz...after last nite...i dun wanna cry that badly again n for the same reason again...im gonna love him so much! and im gonna try my best to change...for him!
i call myself n the grp of pple whu are like mi the "EXPRESSOPHOBIC" meaning afraid to express our real tots n feelings...okie im lame...zzz
gg back to sch le...i hate sch!!!
burn the SCH!!!damn it!
i blogged @
10/16/2006 12:12:00 AM
